Lyrics:

Have you got Miss Fortune, she's the daughter of rich parents,
all she does is cry. One four-letter word is all she wants but
you can't buy love so there's no supply.

Will you take your Master Charge, the boy who's living well
beyond his parents' means. (Happy families.) See his parents
kill theirselves with work to keep their dandy in the latest
jeans. (Happy families.)

Happy families is a kid's game. Happy families is your main aim.
It starts out with a dealing in the middle of the night, and ends
up with a full house if you play your cards out right. Mum says
Dad is cheating, you should see the grown-ups fight for happy
families, the game that's sure to please.

Have you got your Master Race the bigot son who, like his dad, is
full of fear. (Happy families.) Not so much a sun, more of a
storm to her, to burn the books when Dad's not here. (Happy
families.)

Happy families is a kid's game. Happy families is your main aim.
You start out with your first cub and you think that life's a
song. You'll end up with a wolfpack if you lay your cards out
wrong. Dad says Mom is cheating, you can see the children long
for happy families, the game that's sure to please.

Have you got Miss Carriage, she's the girl who wants a baby that
she cannot find. (Happy families.) Strange, the ones who want
to win the race are usually the ones who fall behind.

[by Andy Partridge, from _She's Having a Baby