Lyrics:

[POLICEMAN 1:]
Calling every unit, every unit respond
Don’t let him out of your sight
He won’t be running too long

[POLICEMAN 2:]
I can see him up ahead, a gray sweater on
And if he doesn’t respond
What sort of force should we don?

[POLICEMAN 1:]
Only as a last resort should force be applied
And don’t allow him to hide
They want him taken alive

[POLICEMAN 1 AND POLICEMAN 2:]
Only as a last resort should force be applied
And don’t allow him to hide
They want him taken alive

[INGMAR BERGMAN:]
More and more police cars after me and I don’t even know
where I’m running. It’s not as if I’ll see a sign saying
‘Sweden – This Way.’

[POLICEMAN 1:]
Mr. Bergman, give it up, you’ll never escape
You have no hope and no prayer
You sure ain’t going nowhere

[INGMAR BERGMAN:]
I can’t let them catch me. This place is death to me. This place is
death to me. This place is death to me.

[POLICEMAN 1:]
Calling every helicopter, follow that man
And if he don’t understand
Bring in a translator, man.

And refrain from shooting just as long as you can
But if it needs to be done
Well, you all carry a gun.

[INGMAR BERGMAN:]
Helicopters! What next! I am now an actor in a bad big budget
Hollywood action film.

[POLICEMAN 2:]
Captain we’ve lost sight of him, no there he is now
He’s stopped, he’s wiping his brow
Wait, he’s now running I vow
We won’t let him get away, he’s heading due west
And who would ever have guessed
He’d be this big of a pest

[INGMAR BERGMAN:]
I’ve got to run! I’ve got to run! I’ve got to run! I’ve got to run!

[POLICEMAN 1:]
Copters, fire rockets, we are losing his trail
We cannot let this plan fail
The dogs are hot on his trail
Copters, fire rockets, we are losing his trail
We cannot let this plan fail
The dogs are hot on his trail

[INGMAR BERGMAN:]
I’ve got to run, I’ve got to run!

[POLICEMAN 1:]
Helicopter Number One, we see him, I’m sure
The visibility’s poor
But he just can’t run much more.
Fire rockets, he won’t know what hit him, I’m sure
Before he reaches the shore
A little afternoon gore.

Captain fire rockets we are losing his trail
We cannot let this plan fail
The dogs are hot on his trail

[THE STUDIO CHIEF:]
This is Mr.Weiss, yes, yes, the studio chief
I sit in stunned disbelief
That Bergman’s causing you grief.
Hollywood’s in dire need of what he can bring
But it will not mean a thing
If he is dead, that’s the thing.
Still, we can’t allow him to go back where he came
And though we’d relish his name
He can’t go back where he came.
Summing up, alive is best, but if there’s no choice
Though we can’t gloat and rejoice
Well there just might be no choice.

Summing up, alive is best, but if there’s no choice
Though we can’t gloat and rejoice
Well there just might be no choice.

[INGMAR BERGMAN:]
This is insane. I sense, though, that I’m close to the shore.
Why should that feel like a relief?