Lyrics:

The first thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me Is finding a Christmas tree The second thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me: Angry husband: Rigging up the lights And finding a Christmas tree The third thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me Man getting over being drunk: Hangovers Rigging up the lights And finding a Christmas tree The fourth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me Exhausted man: Sending Christmas cards Hangovers Rigging up the lights And finding a Christmas tree The fifth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me Five months of bills! Sending Christmas cards Hangovers Rigging up the lights And finding a Christmas tree The sixth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me: Nervous wife: Facing my in-laws Five months of bills! Oh, I hate those Christmas cards! Hangovers Rigging up these lights! And finding a Christmas tree The seventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me: Nervous wife's husband: The Salvation Army Facing my in-laws Five months of bills! Sending Christmas cards Oh, geez! I'm tryin' to rig up these lights! And finding a Christmas tree The eighth thing at Christmas that such a pain to me: Whining kid: I WANNA TRANSFORMER FOR CHRISTMAS!!!! Charities, And whataya mean 'YOUR in-laws'?!? Five months of bills! Oh, making out these cards Honey, get me a beer, huh? What, we have no extension cords?!? And finding a Christmas tree The ninth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me A tired father: Finding parking spaces DADDY, I WANT SOME CANDY!!!! D