Lyrics:

She invited me over for dinner
But I knew what she really wanted
Or at least I thought I knew
At that time it was difficult for me to distinguish
Between kind gestures and blatant come-ons
I was in a bad place and my ability to interpret signals was completely off
Kind of like crossing the street and not being able to tell the difference
Between a red light and a green light
All I knew was that I had to move and so I moved forward
Jaywalking through life
People like whizzing cars, speeding by
There were hard edges in the air, steel
And the only certainty was the inevitable collision
I was the victim
But, it was clear i was a willing victim
She invited me over for dinner
And I said yes

“come on over for dinner tonight”

Everywhere I went I was an alien
I stopped for a bottle of wine at the supermarket
It was full of hot mothers and screaming babies
I didn’t mind, but I felt like everyone was staring at me
True, I had had a couple of beers beforehand to take the edge off
And I was buying a 2 euro liter of wine to ease me through dinner
So what?
I was wearing sunglasses, a white button down shirt and tight black jeans
How did that make me persona non grata at the supermarket?
Was it the number of cheese samples I had tried?
The eighth of strudel?
The tenth of backwurst?

“come on over for dinner tonight”

Needless to say I wasn’t even hungry anymore
The beer had filled me up and now I was a few blocks from her house
At a cafe, drinking a glass of white wine
It was hot outside, but the inside of the cafe was shady and cool
And the waitress was attractive
I looked at her, she smiled at me
I wondered what it would be like to kiss her
The walls of the cafe were mirrored and the person I saw in them disturbed me
Hair a mess, an emotional wreck
Cars sped by outside, there was incessant honking as an ambulance wailed
I covered my ears and went to the bathroom
Splashed water on my face
Pushed my hair back
I said
“you can do this”
“you can do this”
What exactly I was doing I didn’t know
Going to dinner?

“come on over for dinner tonight”

My confidence was flagging as the sun was setting
I took a taxi to her place to ensure my arrival
It was slow, languid
And as I sat in the back, taking in the city with a buzzing in my head

I looked at the buildings, so different from what i knew
People on bicycles, men pushing strollers, women going to work, joggers
I couldn’t tell if i was excited or terrified
But something was happening and I determined to see it through no matter what

She lived in a huge apartment complex, on the fourth floor
It was difficult to navigate, but I knew the way
I took the stairs
The city was old, destroyed, divided
But the building she lived in was new
I rang the doorbell
She was a strong and independent woman
So I rang it again

We drank whiskey for a while
And when I left I couldn’t tell if I was walking on sunshine or eggshells
And still
It’s difficult to distinguish between the two