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SCENE 1

FADE IN: INT. RAMS TRAINING FACILITIES - DAY

BRAD is seen on the phone, walking across the side of an indoor football field, players playing and practicing around him, coaches helping and yelling players all around the complex

BRAD
Hey Ms. Carmichael! I just got all my hotel room extended and Im in the Rams practice camp right now&I mean, I dont watch much football, so I guess Im not that excited&What do I know about football? I-I know a little&The field is, like, 200 yards or something and the goal is 7 points, right?&What do you mean what division theyre in? I thought all the teams were in the NFL, now they have divisions? Plus, its not like theyll have me playi-OW!

BRAD gets pelted in the back of the head with a football, knocking him down. A man comes over to check on him and help him up.
BRAD
You know what, boss, Im going to call you later. (looking up at person helping) Hi, sorry about, uh, not catch that there. Im actually here to meet with the team head coach.

TEAM STAFF #1
Oh, shoot! Are you that special brainiac kid that Coach Rains was talking about?

BRAD
Brainiac is kind, but yes, thats me! Where is the coach?

TEAM STAFF #1
Oh, Coach? Hes right over there, handing out assignments for the day.

The STAFF member spins around to point to COACH RAINS, who is in the middle of the field. COACH RAINS is a man in his mid-50s with an blunt demeanor and a no-nonsense attitude. His look is similar to Rex Ryan/John Fox/Pete Carroll, Hes sternly yelling at a small group of players as the team is huddled around him.

COACH RAINS
No! You cant double back in the middle of zone coverage and expect to be able to pick up a man! You commit to going down field or not! The pace is faster than it was in high schools JV team, Rick! And you, Randall, stop going easy on him, either BLOCK him or DO NOT COME TO PRACTICE!

BRAD
Excuse me, sir, I was told by Mr. Fredri-

COACH RAINS (looking down to BRAD)
WHO SAID WHAT?! Oh, Im sorry, young man. What are you here for? Autograph? Press?! I told you damn reporters that there is no Fitzgerald situation! He's just fine, just some cramps.

BRAD
Actually, sir, Mrs. Carmichael sent me.
COACH RAINS
OH! Youre the smart awkward kid he was talking about! Well, he said that you could solve any problem in a flash, so, I guess well just show you this nightmare.

BRAD and COACH RAINS walk over to another half of the field where a player is stand in place catching balls by himself being thrown from 3 machines from different sides. The player is Chad Fitzgerald. CHAD is an extremely lean, yet well defined and muscular football player. He has the typical cocky attitude that is common in athlete stereotypes.

COACH RAINS
Something happened and none of our team doctors can figure it out between all the other athletes they have to manage. The season starts in 3 weeks and we have to figure this out. Just look, CHAD! CHAD, WE GOT THE WIZKID!

CHAD reaches into his pocket and presses a button to stop the machines. He turns around and begins to jog over to BRAD and RAINS, but hesitates in mid-stride and grimaces, showing the pain in his feet.

CHAD (panting)
Hey coach, so this is the guy? Hes gonna walk me through my foot injuries?

BRAD
Oh yes, dont you worry. Well be working our hardest to get you ready for tip-off this season.

COACH RAINS
Dont you mean kickoff?

BRAD (quickly after)
HOW ABOUT we get Chad to run some drills? Simulate some football plays? That way, we can get a better idea of whats going on. You say its your feet? Well, lets see if you can run about, sound good?

Later on in the day, CHAD, BRAD and COACH RAINS have him run through isolated drills with the team QB and other defenders. Hes slow and pained on almost play. Afterward, we see CHAD doing some stretching and walking in front of a camera for BRAD while BRAD takes light notes. After this sequence, we see BRAD make a call.

BRAD
Hey, Dr. Radford. Yeah, Im going to have you flown out to St. Louis and were going to try and figure out this&You got the footage I just emailed to you?&Well, check that out and lets have a plan ready. (turns to COACH) Well, I learned a lot today, thank you.
COACH RAINS
Thank you, son. Im sure this is just a case of the cramps, nothing too serious. Or maybe hell never play again. Hmm. Its always one or the other, isnt it?

BRAD
I genuinely wouldnt know, sir. Either way, lets stay positive!

BRAD walks towards the exit of the complex and COACH RAINS walks towards the locker room. We also see another person, in the distance, get up from a bench and start to jog towards another exit.

SCENE 2

INT DOWNTOWN HOTEL NIGHT

BRAD and DR. RADFORD are sitting across from in the center of BRADs hotels restaurant. Theyre drinking casually as they discuss RADFORDs findings.

RADFORD
So, to start, Im sure I dont have to tell you this, but Fitzgerald is in the greatest shape of his life, pound for pound freak of nature. Hes tall, fast, strong, Im sure youve seen a bunch of his stuff over the last 6 seasons.

BRAD
I, uh, dont watch football, actually, but I keep hearing about how good he is.

RADFORD
Well, hes the best in the league as his position. Its just so weird that hes having problems. I looked over his X-Rays and nothing out of the ordinary came up. Just some minimal wear and tear for a 27-year old NFL player. What did the coach say again?

BRAD (with occasional air quotes)
He said that hes having trouble changing direction in motion and coming off the blocks. What does that even mean?

RADFORD
It basically means the only Chad could be any good in his condition is if everyone was standing still and we could walk the ball to the endzone.

BRAD
Well, shit, that does sound bad. So, what do you want to do? Is it just straight to surgery or can they play him? Coach said theyre sure for a championship run if he ready.

RADFORD
Well, it might be something stress related in his cartilage or a nerve malfunction, which are both super serious, but dont require surgery.

RADFORD reaches to his side and pulls out a small binder

RADFORD
Now, these are some rough designs that I have, most of them are related to the material rather the look. Youll see here, one is wool with a titanium layering for water protection. THIS ONE, I like this one a lot, this one gives toe to toe coverage and provided nail-bed support for the bridge of the foot.

BRAD
WOW! These are amazing! How long will it take to make these? The team basically gave us their debit card on this, so if you can rush, Doctor, do so.

RADFORD
I would say&under a week? If you see anything else, then let me know. In the meantime, maybe do some research on your client! Watch some of his highlights check out his Twitter, he was on the Wheaties box in this state, grab a box of that. You might learn something important that we missed! Ill see you, Brad.

BRAD
I guess Ill learn more about football! Call me when youre ready to meet back with the team.

RADFORD gets up and exits the hotel with all his binder and his bag. We then see BRAD pull out his phone, open Twitter and look through CHADs Twitter.

SCENE 3

INT RAMS TRAINING ROOM AFTERNOON

Its 6 days after the meeting with DOCTOR RADFORD and BRAD. BRAD, RAINS and CHAD are sitting in a trainers room, CHAD on a trainers bed, waiting for DOCTOR RADFORD to come in with some of his designs. CHAD is playing on his phone while BRAD and COACH talk quietly amongst themselves

COACH
I mean, if hes not healthy, the season is over, you know? I cant imagine us making the playoffs without him.

BRAD
But hes just one guy on a 53 man roster, it cant be that serious.

COACH RAINS
Hes the STAR of our team, we cant just have him leave! All the endorsements, jersey sales, Chads just too important!

CHAD (butting in)
Why am I hearing my name? And when is this doctor coming through with the meds or whatever? I doubt if any of the trainers here can do anything, then some dude with a foot fetish is going to help.

BRAD (turning around and getting up)
Hes been working all week on some new stuff for you. We figured, since you dont have an history of foot injuries before and none of your bones are broken, you might have some nerve damage. So, hes going to come in and give you some new shoes.

CHAD
Oh, new shoes? (whispering to himself) Man, this is working out better than I thought.

BRAD
Wait, what did you say?

CHAD
NOTHING! (turns around) Is this him?

DOCTOR RADFORD comes jogging into the room with a large duffle bag, presumably filled with shoes for CHAD to try, looking very tired.

BRAD
Ah, yes! Doctor Radford, what do you have for us today?

RADFORD
(panting) Give me a sec&SHIT, traffic is rough today! Guess everybodys rushing over to the Cards game or something. Anyway, let me open this up. I got a bunch of new stuff for you to run through, (pulls out a few pairs) so lets start with these.

CHAD examines the shoes unimpressed and puts it on. He runs around room and jumps a few times, once he comes down, he grimaces and yells.

CHAD
HOLY SHIT, this was supposed to help?! What the hell is this?! I knew you were some kind crack doc!

CHAD takes the shoe off and throws it at the DOCTOR, hitting him in the face.

RADFORD
Come on, Mr. Fitzgerald, can we at least try on the other pairs? Its not like we have many other options.

CHAD
FINE! Lets see what other type of dumb shit you bought.

Cue a short montage of CHAD trying on a few different types of shoes, including shoes that form entirely around the shape of his food, the ones shown in the previous scene. CHAD doesnt respond well to any of them

COACH RAINS
WHY ISNT ANYTHING WORKING?! The season starts in less than 2 weeks!

BRAD
Well, Coach, you cant expect this to solve itself immediately! We can take some more time to try some more stuff out, get some second opinions, even if he misses the first game, well have him ready ASAP.

CHAD
NAH, FORGET THIS! Im going back home and taking the rest of the day, probably the SEASON off. Great job, Doctor Shithead.

CHAD walks out of the room and leaves the training facility. COACH RAINS storms off after him while BRAD and RADFORD are left behind

RADFORD
Listen, kid, Im sorry about all of this, I really tried my best to help, but its the hardest case Ive ever had to crack.

BRAD
Hmmmmm, no. No, this doesnt add up. Hes faking it.

RADFORD
What? Wait, no, how? The team doctors wouldve known, they did tests too.

BRAD
No, thats only half true. He only got X-Rays, he never got tested for nerve damage, we just assumed. Plus, look at how willing he was to quit today. Hes the best in the league and is acting like he doesnt even want to play. And, forget his attitude, hes not even selling the injury correctly. Did you notice that he just walked perfectly when he left the room? He didnt even take his crutch. AND ON TOP OF THAT, the very DAY we met, I saw a player leaving the practice facility perfectly fine just before I left, wearing exactly what hes wearing today!

RADFORD
But everyone wears what hes wearing, its navy blue undershirts and pants.

BRAD
WRONG! I took your advice and looked him up. I searched all over his Twitter and Wikipedia, all of his profiles, and the guy leaving was wearing white cleats and only the RAMS team captain wears white cleats which is CHAD FITZGERALD!

RADFORD
Holy shit&youre crazy. I kinda believe you, but youre insane if you think anyone is going to believe you. This barely adds up and youre basing A LOT of this on his bad attitude.

BRAD
I have another trick up my sleeve, though. I followed everyone on Chads twitter that might live in the St. Louis area and I know just where he might be tonight, so Im going to try and follow him Just you watch, I got this guy in the bag.

RADFORD
You are ABSOLUTELY ridiculous and creepy, but I admire your passion. You need a ride?
BRAD
You know it! Wait, why would you even help me, though?

RADFORD
Well, not only did that loser throw a cleat in my face and cut it open, but I hate the Rams. If youre right and hes faking, Ill get a front row seat to this locker room burning to the ground.

BRAD
Thats weird, but whatever! Lets go!

BRAD and RADFORD exit together

SCENE 4

EXT ST. LOUIS NIGHTCLUB NIGHT

BRAD and RADFORD are parked in a lot across from the nightclub.

BRAD
Ok, so my camera is ready, we got the right address, everything is set, you ready?

RADFORD
Yeah, youre damn right Im ready. This bastard is going DOWN!

BRAD
You are.&way too excited for this. WAIT, look, I think I see him.

Through the camera, we see CHAD and a woman walking up on the line at the club entrance, CHAD hopping around without any crutches or a limp, shouting and enjoying himself as he enters the club.

BRAD
Wow, I cant believe he was lying this whole time. This must give you some sort of sickly satisfying feeling inside, huh?

RADFORD
Not as satisfying as it will be when we expose him.

BRAD
Hmmmm, I see that look on your face. Do you have an idea?

RADFORD
Ohhh yeah.

SCENE 5

INT RAMS LOCKER ROOM DAY

BRAD, RADFORD and COACH RAINS are standing in the team locker room with several other players. all waiting for CHAD to show up to practice. RADFORD has a folder of fake lab results and is talking to COACH.

COACH RAINS
You sure this is going to work?

BRAD
Im pretty sure. Dr. Radford, youre ready, right?

RADFORD nods as CHAD walks into the locker room in his crutches

CHAD
Whats up, fools? Whos ready to sweat to-&wait, whats everybody waiting around for? And what this dummy doing back here?

COACH RAINS
Brad, our temporary consultant, has some bad news.

BRAD
Mr. Fitzgerald, Im sorry that our first solutions didnt work out, but we were just trying to go with alternatives to the&most effective option. Doctor Radford here was going to give you the diagnosis, but I thought some new shoes would work. (starting to cry) Im just so sorry!

RADFORD
Its alright, Brad, you tried. Either way, it seems that my suspicions were correct. Im sorry, Chad, but you have a rare nerve lapse in both of your feet that could threaten to take away all use of your legs if not treated soon.

CHAD
Wait, whaaaaaat?!

RADFORD
Yes, I know his must be quite a shock, but since NONE of your X-Rays show damage to your feet and none of our other solutions worked, this is the only other conclusion. Your surgery is scheduled for this coming Monday. Coach thought it best for you to be healthy enough to come to the game, so we respected that.

CHAD(looking over to COACH)
WHAT THE HELL IS HE TALKING ABOUT?

COACH RAINS
I understand that is is disappointing, but your contract requires you to undergo any surgeries that the team feels is necessary, its a league rule. Hey, the bright side is that you might be able to play by your 30th birthday.

CHAD starts to yelling throwing down his crutches and running up to get in COACH RAINS face to yell at him

CHAD
NAH! HELL NO! NO CRACKPOT, RANDOM KID, AND OLD ASS FART LIKE YOU GONNA TELL ME SHIT. I AINT HAVING NO SURGERY! You dont want to play me? TRADE. ME. BITCH!

CHAD stomps the ground with those last three words and is panting heavily as everyone in the room is looking at CHAD, especially looking at the fact that hes stunningly perfectly fine.

BRAD
I mean&owwwwwwww, my fooooooot.

COACH RAINS
Shut up, Chad, were fining you for this. And, you might just get your wish. Hopefully, well find a team that trades for a LIAR!


BRAD
Hold on, I still want to know, why lie? Why pretend to injured? Did you not want to play?

CHAD
Not here with you losers! (room groans angrily) YEAH, I SAID IT! I was hoping that the team would trade me thinking I was damaged goods. That way, I could actually WIN A GAME! Tell when the trade clears.

CHAD takes his bag from off the floor and storms out of the locker room, leaving everyone silent and upset. BRAD speaks up

BRAD
Guess you could say that he RAM out of excuses, hahahaha&hehe&I guess youre not in the mood for jokes, coach.

COACH RAINS
No, son.

BRAD
Ill be going then, sorry for your loss.

FADE OUT