Lyrics:

I was sitting with a bloody head

Outside of X

At the Berkeley Square

In my proud boy dumbness

Half drunk, half sexed,

Half conscious

Lenny had said, 'Shouldn't you check it?'

I said, checking is for wimps



So I flew into the hedge

Up and above

Looking at the blue skies below

Flying like a dove

I was head over heels

When I hit the manhole cover

Kathleen walked up, said, 'You alright?'

No, I'm in pain, duh.



Well, sleeveless shirts

And catholic school skirts

'Small girls, big cars', Al says

For me it's the other way around

She said, 'Just show me where it hurts'

I said, you can pick me up and take me home

Or just join me on the ground



And we could have some kids

If we're lucky they'll be gay

And we could be proud parents

In the pride parade

I swear I almost cry

Every year when they go by

If I'd only been a girl instead of

A guy,

Kathleen.