Lyrics:

As I did walk by Hampstead Fair
I came upon Mother Goose
So I turned her loose
But she was screaming

And a foreign student said to me
Was it really true
There are elephants and lions too
In Piccadilly Circus?

Walked down by the bathing pond
To try and catch some sun
Must've been a hundred schoolgirls sobbing
In the handkerchiefs as one

I don't believe they knew
I was a schoolboy

And a bearded lady said to me
If you start your raving
And your misbehaving
You'll be sorry

Then the chicken fancier came to play
With his long red beard
And his sister's weird
She drives a lorry