Lyrics:

Pubs and clubs and opening hours
Was all he knew
One arm bandits and affiliated members
Women taboo
Had his own tankard
And the evening standard
And a trophy from darts
That he kept over the bar
He'd nothing to fear
He had his beer
B-e-e-r!

Then came her
Through the blur
Then came she
Made him see
He saw the light before he'd finished his pint
She saved him from the biggest crime in life
They hated her
They said you'll never see him again
Got a mortgage 'round his neck
And eight screaming kids
But his seat's always here if he wants it