Lyrics:

You're the reason I'm a-ridin' around on recapped tires.
And you're the reason I'm hangin' our clothes outside on wires.
And you're the reason our kids are ugly, little darlin'
Ah, but looks ain't ev'rythin' and money ain't ev'rythin'
But I love you just the same.
You're the reason I've changed to beer from soda pop.
And you're the reason I never get to go to the beauty shop.
You're the reason our kids are ugly, little darlin'
Ah, but looks ain't ev'rythin', and money ain't ev'rythin'
But I love you just the same.
I guess that we won't ever have everything we need
'Cause when we get ahead it's got another mouth to feed

And that's the reason that my good looks and my figure is gone.
And that's the reason that I ain't got no hair to comb.
And you're the reason our kids are ugly, little darlin'
Ah, but looks ain't ev'rythin', and money ain't ev'rythin'
But I love you just the same
I guess that we won't ever have everything we need
'Cause when we get ahead it's got another mouth to feed

Conway, why in the devil don't you go
And shave and put on a clean pair of pants?
But Loretta, look at yourself. Now I wish you'd take them
Curlers out of your hair and go put on a little makeup
And get out of that housecoat before supper.
Ha, well let me tell you something,
Conway, considerin' everything that I went through today,
I look like a movie star.
Eh-he-yeah, Ruth Buzzie.
Thankyee.
Besides that, all our kids took after your part of the family, anyway.

Oh they did, huh? What abouts the ones that's Bald?
(Laughs)
Well, I guess you could say they take after me...
(laughs)
(laughs)