Lyrics:

1982
Writer(s): Jimmy Webb

Tell us once again this morning
Old friend how did you win the war
Everybody loves a hero it don't matter
If they've heard the tale before

And tell us of the time when
Almost everybody knew you were a star
And how intelligent you are
Prove that you're alive Mr. Shuck and Jive

You can tell us of the man who stole
Your fortune and nearly ruined your life
Or better still the one about the TV
And the couch and your best friend's wife

Tell us of grand projects never finished
With somebody else to blame
And all the reasons that your fame
Just never did arrive Mr. Shuck and Jive

If you can get yourself together
Kindly write a criticism of this song
How it's exquisitely constructed and yet
Mechanical and somehow slightly wrong

And you can put it in your book
About the enemy you never even met
You know you just might make it yet
But somehow you'll survive Mr. Shuck and Jive