Lyrics:

Whenever life gets you down
Keeps you wearing a frown
And the gravy train has left you behind
And when you're all out of hope
Down at the end of your rope
And nobody's there to throw you a line

If you ever get so low that you don't know which way to go
Come on and take a walk in my shoes
Never worry bout a thing
Got the world on a string
'Cause I've got the cure for all of my blues (all of his blues)

I take a look at my enormous penis
And my troubles start a-meltin' away
I take a look at my enormous penis
And the happy times are coming to stay

I gotta sing and-a dance when I glance in my pants
And the feeling's like a sunshiney day
I take a look at my enormous pe-e-e-nis
And everything is goin' my way

(whistling)

(ad lib solo)

PE-E-NIS

(end ad lib solo)

Everybody
I take a look at my enormous penis
And my troubles start a-meltin' away
I take a look at my enormous penis
And the happy times are coming to stay

Yeah, I got great big amounts in the place where it counts
And the feeling's like a sunshiney day
I take a look at my enormous penis
And everything is goin' my way (my trouser monster)
Everything is goin' my way (my meat is murder)
Everything is goin' my way (size doesn't matter)
Everything is goin' my waaaaaay
yummmm