Lyrics:

I sold your Rolex
To buy that gold Versace dress
I set free your whiny French poodle
So you can get your beauty rest

[chorus]
And I did it all for you
I did it all (I did it all) for you
This Christmas (this Christmas)
All your dreams (all your dreams)
Will come true

I put your mother on a Greyhound (you did what?)
You’d always hoped she’d have the chance to see the world
(Leave our mom alone) now she can
I torched your Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issues (no, no, no, no)
So I could be your only girl, and now I am

[chorus]

How can I forget
All you’ve done for me, I’ll get you yet
This is the season to give
But I can never forgive the damage that you’ve done
(Damage that you’ve done)
This must be love

I sank your bass boat (not my bass boat, no, no, no)
So you’d have more time to spend with me
I hocked your grandma’s diamond earrings
For the down payment on my SUV
(Fully loaded, heated seats, in hunter green, is this for me?)

[chorus]