Lyrics:

Here's a little diddy about a good guy I know
You know Heart Attack Man
And you know, he weighs in pretty hefty
My man's like 275
How much he weigh?
He's like the guy in the Hefty bag commercial
Okay, okay, let's take it from here

Drink a six pack and then you play some ball
Walking down the stairs and then he starts to fall
Add on two joints and he starts to sweat
275 pounds that you can't forget
'Cause he's a Heart Attack, Heart Attack Man
Spend all your money on your health insurance plan
Heart Attack, Heart Attack Man
Keep on getting bigger because you know that he can
Why do you force yourself on top of that girl?
Laugh with all your buddies because it's a man's, man's world
Someday, that shit will come back to you
Throwing your weight around and that shit is through
Heart Attack, Heart Attack Man
Going nowhere and got no master plan
Heart Attack, Heart Attack Man

Weighs in at 275
Yeah, my man is lucky to be alive
Smokin' and drinkin', too
My man, the Heart Attack Man, is gonna be running over you
Got no goddamn respect
Yeah, you'd better put your big, big bitch ass in check
Heart Attack, Heart Attack Man
Lungs full of tar and a stomach full of Spam
Heart Attack, Heart Attack Man
Time to change your ways, Heart Attack Man
Oh, what do we know about partying or anything else?