Lyrics:

Well he must have his reasons
He must have a master plan
Since he took away the seasons
And replaced the common man
With a face that never ages
Lips that do not speak
A book with many pages
No one dares to peek
Oh, he's righteous and just
In Artie we trust
He knows it all
Oh, what Artie knows that we don't
Artie does what we won't
Artie knows it all
His ways are so mysterious
His manner can't be read

Artie the enigma
Knows he's better dead than read
And he watches over all the little children in his flock
Artemus the little boy
The boy who couldn't talk
Oh, he's righteous and just
In Artie we trust
He knows it all
Oh, what Artie knows that we don't
Artie does what we won't
Artie knows it all
He knows it all
What Artie knows that we don't
Artie does what we won't
Artie knows it all
He knows it all