Lyrics:

Words And Music By Steven Page & Ed Robertson

if I Had $1000000 (If I Had $1000000)
i'd Buy You A House (I Would Buy You A House)
if I Had $1000000 (If I Had $1000000)
i'd Buy You Furniture For Your House
(Maybe A Nice Chesterfield Or An Ottoman)
if I Had $1000000 (If I Had $1000000)
i'd Buy You A K-Car (A Nice Reliant Automobile)
if I Had $1000000 I'd Buy Your Love.

if I Had $1000000 I'd Build A Tree Fort In Our Yard.
if I Had $1000000 You Could Help, It Wouldn't Be That Hard.
if I Had $1000000 Maybe We Could Put A Refrigerator In There.
[wouldn't That Be Fabulous]

if I Had $1000000 (If I Had $1000000)
i'd Buy You A Fur Coat (But Not A Real Fur Coat That's Cruel)
if I Had $1000000 (If I Had $1000000)
i'd Buy You An Exotic Pet (Like A Llama Or An Emu)
if I Had $1000000 (If I Had $1000000)
i'd Buy You John Merrick's Remains (All Them Crazy Elephant Bones)
if I Had $1000000 I'd Buy Your Love

if I Had $1000000 We Wouldn't Have To Walk To The Store
if I Had $1000000 We'd Take A Limousine 'cause It Costs More
if I Had $1000000 We Wouldn't Have To Eat Kraft Dinner.
(But We Would!)

if I Had $1000000 (If I Had $1000000)
i'd Buy You A Green Dress (But Not A Real Green Dress, That's Cruel)
if I Had $1000000 (If I Had $1000000)
i'd Buy You Some Art (A Picasso Or A Garfunkel)
if I Had $1000000 (If I Had $1000000)
i'd Buy You A Monkey (Haven't You Always Wanted A Monkey!)
if I Had $1000000 I'd Buy Your Love

if I Had $1000000, If I Had $1000000
if I Had $1000000, If I Had $1000000
i'd Be Rich.