Lyrics:

Barney Works Down At The A&p
he Drives A Baby Blue A.m.c.
ain't Missed A Day Of Work In 13 Years
he's A Fire Department Volunteer
he's Got A Yard That's Always Just Been Mowed
collected Stamps Since He Was 10 Years Old
you've Never Seen A More Regular Guy
but When The Sun Goes Down On Friday Night

(Chorus)

slaps On His Hai Karate After Shave
puts On His Elvis Jacket Custom-Made
gets In His Patent Zebra Boots
fires Up A Super Sport Malibu
he Burns The Rubber Cross The County Line
a Honky Tonkin' Fool Till Closing Time
you Ought To See Him Metemorphosize
from Barney Jekyll Into Bubba Hyde

monday Mornin' It's A Suit And Tie
attention Shoppers There's A Two For One Buy
tuesday Afternoon He Mans The Wheel
makes His Rounds In The Bookmobile

he's Got A Wednesday Night Canasta Game
thursday's The Tourney At The Bowling Lanes
his Friends Would Freak Out If They Only Knew
the Party Animal He Turns Into

(Chorus