Lyrics:

Oh Any old iron? Any old iron?
Any, any, any old iron?
You look neat. Talk about a treat!
You look napper from your dapper to your feet
Dressed in style, brand new tile
And your father's old green tie on
I wouldn't give you tuppence for your old watch and chain
Old iron, old iron!
Just a week or two ago me poor old Uncle Bill
Went and kicked the bucket and he left me in his will
The other day I popped around to see poor Auntie Jane
She said: 'Your Uncle Bill has left you a watch and chain!'
I put it on right across me vest
Thought it looked a-dandy as it dangled on me chest
Just to flash it off I started walking round about
A lot of kiddies followed me and all began to shout:
'Any old iron mate? Any old iron?
Any, any, any old iron?
You look neat. Talk about a treat!
You look dapper from your napper to your feet
You're dressed in style with a brand new tile
And your father's old green tie on
I wouldn't give you tuppence for your old watch and chain
Old iron, old iron!'

Spoken: And now um, Fred Spoons would like to give you a solo
Fred: Ah yeah, well I'd like to continue the rhythmic melody of what you just heard, on my melody spoons, thank you

Go on, let me here that E.P.N.S. Fred
Uh, temperamental in't he?
Oh Any old iron? Any old iron?
Any, any, any old iron?
You look neat. Talk about a treat!
Yim-bom-biddle on your feet
You look nice dressed in ice
A father's old green tie on
I wouldn't give you tuppence for your old watch and chain
Old iron, old iron!
Oh you look neat, talk about a treat
You look dapper from your napper to your feet
You got an old green tie, ? in your eye
You got a monocle a-speckin' in your ol' ?
? little shoes, Blue Suede Shoes
Don't you roll me daddy oh rock away ya' blues
You got a lolly for the rain and a brand new cane
I wouldn't give you tuppence for your old watch and chain
Old iron, old iron!

'Any old iron? Any old iron?
Any, any, any old iron?
Oh You look neat. Talk about a treat!
You look so dapper from your napper to your feet
Cool style, brand new tile
With your father's old green tie on
I wouldn't give you tuppence for your old watch and chain
Old iron, old iron!
I say, you down there! (Hello)
Do you want some old iron? (Yeah)
Ooh mate, I've been sponned!