Lyrics:

Fake Tales of San Francisco

Echo through the room

More point to a wedding disco

Without a bride or groom

There's a super cool band yeah

With their trilbys and their glasses of white wine

And all the weekend rockstars in the toilets

Practicing their lines



I don't want to hear you

(Kick me out, kick me out)

I don't want to hear, you know

(Kick me out, kick me out)

I don't want to hear you

(Kick me out, kick me out)

I don't want to hear you

I don't want to hear your...



Fake Tales of San Fransisco

Echo through the air

And there's a few bored faces in the back

All wishing they weren't there



And as the microphone squeaks

A young girl's telephone beeps

Yeah she's dashing for the exit

And she's running to the streets outside

"Oh you've saved me," she screams down the line

"The band aren't very good

And I'm not having a nice time"



I don't want to hear you

(Kick me out, kick me out)

I don't want to hear, you know

(Kick me out, kick me out)



Yeah but his bird thinks it's amazing, though

So all that's left

Is the proof that love's not only blind but deaf



He talks of San Francisco, he's from Hunter's Bar

I don't quite know the distance

But I'm sure that's far

Yeah I'm sure that's pretty far



And yeah, I'd love to tell you all my problem

You're not from New York City, you're from Rotherham

So get off the bandwagon, and put down the handbook

Yeah, yeah, yeah



Get off the bandwagon and put down the handbook

Get off the bandwagon and put down the handbook

Get off the bandwagon and put down the handbook

Get off the bandwagon and put down the handbook

Yeah