Lyrics:

'Step right up folks and get your ticket to LA, the greatest freak show on earth!'

You'll see poor Patty, a beautiful orphan of ten in army surplus clothes
Alone in the city
Selling the free press to your friends
Watch as the amazing flying fat
An overweight out of work drill-press operator
Takes Patty into an abandoned parking lot
Then see her say about the flaming faggot
With orange hair, a pink face and a Chevrolet
Meet dog Debbie
Sixteen machine
Wild John bullshit world fabulous discover of talent who uses fabulous [] power to get himself a date
And Mr. America stands in his one room on his one chair, his hands in the air taking pictures of himself in a mirror

Going to leave Chicago, headed for LA
Going to leave Chicago, headed for LA
Going to leave Chicago, headed for LA

Don't miss the O.'s famous show within a show
Carol the snake-charmer
Brenda the belly-dancer
Out of the sword swallowing GTO revue
Bernard up the body sniffer
Tinkerbat teller of fortunes with tarot cards
Maybe she's a witch!
The three blind mice of palasades high
The three kings of moonfire
Buddha, the Mystic, and many others
(Demons, witches)
Here comes smiley super-star
With his traveling toupee
With his teeth in a jar
His hearing aid on record
And his vibrator working
They're all there, yeah
Folks, live and in person!
Calvin Chemistry
Danny Doper
And Flower who drops six rags of rat poison
And his dad today
You'll meet them all!
And
You'll go down to the jolly bird's jail
After a ride on the sinking ship
With sirens on it
There you'll watch the drunk judge sober himself each morning
For clearcut decisions
With alka seltzer and a tomato fizz fizz fizz
There you'll watch Patty, who's been beaten raped and robbed
Put through many things

'Judge, not one bummer the whole beautiful summer!'