Lyrics:

I had a scrap with a sailor one night
We were both drunk
I said ' Just because you're a sailor, you think you're a man, if you're going to report me, go ahead you little dick...'
And I fell off the stool
And I fell off the stool
I was fulla whisky, single cask
He went to the captain: ' You better throw this guy out; he must be some kind of a phoney'

Pony, the pony, the pony, the pony the pra
Pony, the pony, the pony, the pony the pra
Pony, the pony, the pony, the pony the pra
Pony, the pony, the pony, the pony the pra

I had a scrap with a whore one night
We were both stoned
I said ' Just because you're a whore, you think you're cute, if you're going to report me, go ahead you funny prick.'
And I fell off the stool
And I fell off the stool
I was fulla pot
She went to the holy pimp. ' You better check this guy out; he must be some kind of a phoney'

Pony, the pony, the pony, the pony the pra
Pony, the pony, the pony, the pony the pra
Pony, the pony, the pony, the pony the pra
Pony, the pony, the pony, the pony the pra

I had a scrap with a doctor one night
We were both drunk
I said ' Just because you're a doctor, you think you're smart, if you're going to report me, go ahead you prick'
And I fell off the stool
And I fell off the stool
I was fulla goofballs
E went to the other doctor: ' You better look this guy up; he must be some kind of a phoney'

Pony, the pony, the pony, the pony the pra
Pony, the pony, the pony, the pony the pra
Pony, the pony, the pony, the pony the pra
Pony, the pony, the pony, the pony the pra
Pony, the pony, the pony, the pony the pra
Pony, the pony, the pony, the pony the pra
Pony, the pony, the pony, the pony the pra
Pony, the pony, the pony, the pony the pra