Lyrics:

Woman cries in dock and says she did
But she wants the jury to know why she did
She wanted romance
A slow dance
No chance, 'cause the man she was with
Was Scots not Italian
Woman tells of thoughtlessness and lies
How he bought her panties in the wrong size
So she slept with his best friend whose name was Vince
But then he criticised the mince
Yeah, he criticised the mince
She wanted romance
A slow dance
No chance, 'cause the man she was with
Was Scots not Italian
Now the Italian men live at home
With their parents 'til they're 41
Woman killed her husband with a sword
Then she told her story to the Daily Record
Which noted how her courage never failed
Until she got to Cornton Vale
Until she got to Cornton Vale
She wanted romance
A slow dance
No chance, 'cause the man she was with
Was Scots not Italian
She wanted romance
A slow dance
No chance, 'cause the man she was with
Was Scots not Italian, hey