Lyrics:

The final track off Collision Course is a rendition of Jay-Z’s “99 Problems” set to the music of Linkin Park’s “Points of Authority” and “One Step Closer”.
If you havin' girl problems, I feel bad for you, son
I got ninety-nine problems, but a bitch ain't one—hit me!
Got 'em, Mike?

He's got the Rap Patrol on the gat patrol
Foes who wanna make sure his casket's closed
Rap critics who say he's money, cash, hoes
He's from the hood, stupid; what type of facts are those? (Come on)
If you grew up with holes in your zapatos
You'd be celebratin' the minute you was havin' dough
So fuck critics, you can kiss a whole asshole
You don't like the lyrics? You can press fast forward
Beef with radio if we don't play they show
They don't play our hits; we don't give a shit, so
All these mags tryin' to use our ass
So advertisers can give 'em more cash for ads, fuckers
I don't know what you take us as
Or understand the intelligence that Jay-Z has
From rags to riches, we ain't dumb
We got ninety-nine problems, but a bitch ain't one—hit me!

Ninety-nine problems, but a bitch ain't one
If you havin' girl problems, I feel bad for you, son
I got ninety-nine problems, but a bitch ain't one, c'mon

Now the year is ninety-four, in my trunk is raw
In the rear view mirror is the motherfuckin' law
I got two choices, y'all: pull over the car or
Bounce on the devil, put the pedal to the floor (C'mon)
And I ain't tryin' to see no highway chase with Jake
Plus I got a few dollars, I can fight the case
So I pull over to the side of the road
I heard, 'Son, do you know what I'm stoppin' you for?'
'Cause I'm young and I'm black and my hat's real low
Do I look like a mind reader, sir? I don't know
Am I under arrest or should I guess some more?
'You was doin' fifty-five in a fifty-four
License and registration and step out of the car
Are you carryin' a weapon on you? Know a lot of you are'
I ain't steppin' out of shit, all my paper legit
'Well, do you mind if I look around the car a little bit?'
Well, my glove compartment is locked, so is the trunk in the back
And I know my rights, so you gon' need a warrant for that
'Aren't you sharp as a tack? (Yep)
You some type of lawyer or somethin'?
Somebody important or somethin'?'
Ha, I ain't passed the bar, but I know a little bit
Enough that you won't illegally search my shit
'Well, we'll see how smart you are when the canines come'
I got ninety-nine problems, but a bitch ain't one—hit me!

Ninety-nine problems, but a bitch ain't one
If you havin' girl problems, I feel bad for you, son
I got ninety-nine problems, but a bitch ain't one—hit me!
Ninety-nine problems, but a bitch ain't one
If you havin' girl problems, I feel bad for you, son
I got ninety-nine problems, but a bitch ain't one—hit me!
Ninety-nine problems, but a bitch ain't one
If you havin' girl problems, I feel bad for you, son
I got ninety-nine problems, but a bitch ain't one

Now once upon a time, not too long ago
A nigga like myself had to strong-arm a ho
This is not a ho in the sense of havin' a pussy
But a pussy havin' no goddamn sense, try and push me
I try to ignore him, talk to the Lord
Pray for him, but some fools just love to perform
You know the type, loud as a motorbike
But wouldn't bust a grape in a fruit fight
And only thing that's gon' happen is I'ma get to clappin' and
He and his boys gon' be yappin' to the Captain
And there I go, trapped in the Kit-Kat again
Back through the system with the riff-raff again
Fiends on the floor, scratchin' again (Ha)
Paparazzis with they cameras, snappin' them
D.A. try to give a nigga shaft again
Half a mill' for bail 'cause I'm African
All because this fool was harassin' them
Tryin' to play the boy like he's saccharine (Uh, uh)
But ain't nothin' sweet 'bout how I hold my gun
I got ninety-nine problems, bein' a bitch ain't one

Ninety-nine problems, but a bitch ain't one
If you havin' girl problems, I feel bad for you, son
I got ninety-nine problems, but a bitch ain't one—hit me!
Ninety-nine problems, but a bitch ain't one
If you havin' girl problems, I feel bad for you, son
I got ninety-nine problems, but a bitch ain't one—hit me!

Shut up when I'm talkin' to you
Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!
Shut up when I'm talkin' to you
Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!
I'm about to break

Everything you say to me
I got ninety-nine problems, but a bitch ain't one—hit me!
I need a little room to breathe
I got ninety-nine problems, but a bitch ain't one—hit me!
Everything you say to me
I got ninety-nine problems, but a bitch ain't one—hit me!
I need a little room to breathe
I got ninety-nine problems
And I'm about to break