Lyrics:

*Speaking*
Bret: To be honest with you, being in um, being in an obviously popular folk band, um, you know, we get our perks, um...
Jemaine: Tell them how, um, lots of women always want to kiss us.
B: Yeah. Sometimes- well, not sometimes, often- after the show, women, and girls, they want to kiss us.
J: Yeah. Well, that's true, I suppose, I never really thought about that, but yeah, now that you come to mention it...
B: But, um... Nah, it's a lot of fun.
J: It's quite nice.
B: Yeah.
J: I mean, it's only polite to go along with it.
B: If someone kisses you, you just don't say "no," you know, do you?
J: Well, not if they paid twenty bucks.
B: *pause* To see the show, to see the show.
J: Or fifteen bucks, concession
B: Yeah.
J: Get a little kiss.
B: Yeah. Sort of a student kiss.
J: *Laughs* Student kiss?
B: Pensioner kiss, that sort of stuff. Just a little peck, it's a bit dry, sort of comes away with you. But, uh...
J: A group concession kiss.
B: True, yeah. Ten, if there's ten, you know, it's obviously... works out for everyone. There are two types of guys, you've probably all heard that, um...
J: Yeah, I've heard that.
B: And, um...
J: Yeah, I'm one of them, and Bret's the other--
B: I'm the other sort. Yeah, pretty much got it covered. But when it becomes, uh, not well, I guess a problem, sort of, you have a kiss, and then sometimes they want to take it a little bit further, *music starts* and that's when it becomes inappropriate for someone that you've only just met.

*Song*
A kiss is not a contract,
But it's very nice,
Oh yes, it's very nice.

Just because you've been exploring my mouth
Doesn't mean you get to take an expedition further south

No, a kiss is not a contract,
But it's very nice,
It's very, very nice.

Just because we've been playing tonsil-hockey
Doesn't mean you get to score the goal that's in my jockeys

Oh, just because I'm in an acoustic folk band
It doesn't mean I only want poontang
I can't go around loving everyone
I just wouldn't get anything done...

Because, I'm only one man, baby.
We're only two men, ladies,
Babies, pretty babies.