Lyrics:

{Intro}
Tony, Tony, Tony
Only had a couple!

(CHORUS)
But he's had a fair few shots
And he starts to swear a lot
But she hasn't bared a drop
And thus everyone stares too much

{Verse 1 - Tony Mitchell}
Cor blimey, see that bird take a good look at her skirt
Oh me word, I can see heaven take me far from Earth
I'll have some of that love, how much are you worth?
No I'm not being tricky love, this glass is me first
Now how about a score, OK then 25
Why did you slap me for, I was trying'a be kind
Go get your boyfriend then, I ain't gonna run
So what if he's a boxer, I'm already numb
Now out of the way, its me turn 'same again son'
What did you say cunt, I'll tell you when I'm done
I'm drunk, you're flippin drunk, in fact you're raw some
Come on then, lets have it then, now where the hells me gun?
Oh you all think it's a joke, well lets just see
When I count to three, you will all respect me
Dead bag I Tony, everyone knows me
What's wrong now sweetheart, are we getting cold feet?

(CHORUS)
{Verse 2 - Mike Skinner, Tony Mitchell, Teddy Mitchell}
Mike: Excuse me, can I have a word outside if you please
Tony: What if I refuse, what are you gonna do geez?
Mike: Oi, lets cut to the chase, did you disrespect me Stace?
Tony: Oh you mean that slag, she's a bloody disgrace
I offered her 25, and she slapped me in me face
I mean, would you believe it Ted? Right in me face!
She's lucky she didn't get put right in her place
That's it, I've had enough, outside, come on lets go now!
Teddy: Listen bruv, that's enough
I'll put it blunt, you're looking like a cunt
Breathe in, breathe out
Or you'll end up in the back of the meatvan
Like you always do when you have a glass of gin and juice
Causing trouble in the venue
What you trying to make the 10 o'clock news?
No, no, don't talk, your ignorance will be a downfall
What you gotta shout loud for
Embarrassing yourself when you're outdoors
Talking like you got big balls
Gritting your teeth like a pitbull
Looking like you're gonna be sick
Dude check yourself mate, you're a Mitchell

(CHORUS)
{Verse 3 - Teddy Mitchell}
Please excuse my brother
He's got too much booze in his bladder
Giving you all the chitter-chatter
Getting all rude in a geezer manner
Please accept my apologies on his behalf
And I don't think that he really meant to squeeze your arse
But he was being an idiot
That I can't deny, I must admit
That he was out of line, and he pushed it just a little bit
But what about you though, showing off flesh like a sumo
Your skirts up too high, and your top's cut too low
And there's your boyfriend, acting like a boss kinda like Hugo
Put yourself in my brother's shoes mate
What if it was you bro?
Lets just all get along
Do a little dance to some songs
Forget about this nonsense
We can all move on!

{Outro}
Tony, Tony, Tony
Only had a couple!