Lyrics:

You shoulda made me a drunkard
Shoulda made me a liar
Made me a preacher
With a head full of fire

You coulda made me a gambler
Coulda made me a thief
Made me a salesman
Pockets full of receipts

But I chose water over wine
Jars of formaldehyde
Think of all the things I missed
Why'd you make me a scientist

Is this the best you've got
I'm not impressed
Anything you can do
I'll equate and project

I chose water over wine
Jars of formaldehyde
Think of everything I missed
Why'd you make me a scientist