One’s got a gun, the other’s got a bigger one Both have a set of rules One’s got an army, the other’s got a bigger army Both are led by fools Assholes are universal One size fits all Assholes are universal Universal asshole Peace is for some, war is for everyone Just pick up a gun Shoot your brother, shoot your father If you only had one Assholes are universal One size fits all Assholes are universal Universal asshole We got a new frequency It’s loud and clear A universal language Radio without fear Assholes are universal One size fits all Assholes are universal Universal asshole [x2]