Lyrics:

The amoeba is so small you’d need a microscope to see one
It hurts the eyes but I’ll concede, I’d rather see than to be one
They never sing or laugh or talk, or eat fondue or quiche
And if you take one for a walk you’d need a tiny leash
I know the thing must have a brain, although I couldn’t tell you where
It sure must be an awful pain to be so unicellular