Lyrics:

Ahh ahh ahh ahhh
Ahh ahh ahh ahhh

Do you remember Charlie Cass (who's Charlie Cass?)
He was a man who swallowed glass (ooh what a gas)
I used to go and see his shows (was he bad or was he good?)
But how it did it no-one knows (do you think they should?)

His doctor said 'now listen Cass' (do you feel any pain?)
'Your stomach can't take much more glass' (and you know it again)
'It doesn't bother me' he said (but it will but he will)
Oh Cass was wrong 'cause now he's dead (we love you still)

And although Charlie has gone
His memory still lingers on, so...

Let's all sing to the memory of Cass
Taken from us by pieces of glass
Let's all sing to the memory of Cass

(There's no business like show business)
(There's no business Charlie's dead)

Do you remember Phyliss Haynes (Phyliss Haynes?)
She used to mess around with flames (you're jokin' ha ha ha)
I would go and see her shows (where at lad?)
But how she did it no one knows (I'm not surprised, ha ha)

One night Phyliss Haynes went wrong (why?)
While running flames across her tongue (across her tongue! you must be outta your mind)
You should have heard the people shout (ha ha ha)
When she breathed in instead of out (oh the poor woman)

But although Phyliss is gone (who's this now, who the 'ell's that then?)
Her memory still lingers on (ha ha ha, oh god)

Let's all sing to the memory of Haynes
Taken from us by internal flames
Let's all sing to the memory of Haynes

Do you remember Charlie Cass (yes!, yeah I remember him now, yeah)
He was a man who swallowed glass
Do you remember Phyliss Haynes (Oh yeh I remember Phyliss ha ha ha)
She used to mess around with flames, yeah

How about J.C. Twist (who? that's a new one)
The famous Escapologist (you never mentioned him in the last bit)

(There's no business like show business)
(There's no business like show business) (who wrote this?)
(There's no business like show business) (Phyliss Haynes, J.C. Twist)
(There's no business like show business)