Lyrics:

Ladies and Gentlemen of the G. E. D. class of 1999,
No matter what a stripper tells you,
There Is No Sex In The Champagne Room!

Dont go to parties with metal detectors.
Sure, It may feel safe inside,
But what about all those (BEEP) waitin outside with guns,
They Know You Aint Got One!

If a girl tells you shes 20, and looks 16, shes 12.
If she tells you shes 26, and looks 26, Shes Dam Near 40!

Take off that silly @$$ hat.

The ODB couldnt have possibly committed all those crimes.
Coolio did some of that (Sh!t) STUFF

Young black men:
If your at a movie theater, and someone steps on your foot,
Let it slide!
Theres no use going to jail for 20 years b-cuz
Someone Smudged Your Puma!

Cornbread-Aint nothin wrong with that!

No matter what you think of what I'm sayin,
I want you to remember this one thing:
No matter what a stripper tells you,
There Is No Sex In The Champagne Room!
(That guy starts singin)
No Sex In The Champagne Room,
No Sex In The Champagne Room!
No Sex In The Champagne Room,
No Sex In The Champagne Room!

If a homeless person has a funny sign,
He hasnt been homeless that long.
A real homeless person is too hungry to be funny.

If a girl has a pierced tongue,
She'll probably suck your (BEEP)!
(That'd Be Nice, Yeaaaah!)
If a guy has a pierced tongue,
He'll probably suck your (BEEP)
(Dont want that Noooooo!)

Heres a horoscope for everyone:
Aquarius-Your Gonna Die!
Capricorn-Your Gonna Die!
Gemini-Your Gonna Die TWICE! (Me!)
Leo-Your Gonna Die!
Scorpio-Your Gonna Die!

No one goes to Hooters for wings.

If you've been dating a guy for 4 months,
And you havent met any of his friends yet,
You Are Not His Girlfriend!

Some of the stuff I have said may offend you
Some of the stuff I have said may not apply to you.
But no matter who you are, (Bill Clinton)
You must remember this one thing:
No matter what a stripper tells you,
There Is No Sex In The Champagne Room! NONE!

No Sex In The Champagne Room,
No Sex In The Champagne Room!
Cant get none, Nooooo!
Cant have none, Nooooo!
No Sex In The Champagne Room,
No Sex In The Champagne Room