Lyrics:

Central Scrutinizer:
We take you now to a garage in Canoga Park

Joe:
It wasn't very large
There was just enough room to cram the drums
In the corner over by the Dodge
It was a fifty-four
With a mashed up door
And a cheesy little amp
With a sign on the front said
'Fender Champ'
And a second-hand guitar
It was a Stratocaster with a whammy bar

Larry:
We could jam in Joe's Garage
His mama was screamin'
His dad was mad
We was playin' the same old song
In the afternoon and sometimes we would
Play it all night long
It was all we knew, and easy too
So we wouldn't get it wrong
All we did was bend the string like

Hey!
Down in Joe's Garage
We didn't have no dope or LSD
But a coupla quartsa beer
Would fix it so the intonation
Would not offend yer ear
And the same old chords goin' over and over
Became a symphony
We would play it again and again and again
'Cause it sounded good to me
One more time!

We could jam in Joe's Garage
His mama was screamin', 'Turn it down!'
We was playin' the same old song
In the afternoon and sometimes we would
Play it all night long
It was all we knew, and easy too
So we wouldn't get it wrong
Even if you played it on a saxophone

We thought we was pretty good
We talked about keepin' the band together
And we figured that we should
'Cause about this time we was gettin' the eye
From the girls in the neighborhood
They'd all come over and dance around like

So we picked out a stupid name
Had some cards printed up for a coupla bucks
And we was on our way to fame
Got matching suits and Beatle Boots
And a sign on the back of the car
And we was ready to work in a Go-go Bar

'One, two, three, four
Let's see if you got some more!'

People seemed to like our song
They got up and danced and made alotta noise
An' it wasn't 'fore very long
A guy from a company we can't name
Said we oughta take his pen
And sign on the line for a real good time
But he didn't tell us when
These 'good times' would be somethin'
That was really happenin'
So the band broke up
An' it looks like
We will never play again

Joe:
Guess you only get one chance in life
To play a song that goes like

Mrs. Borg:
Turn it down! Turn it down!
I have children sleeping here...
Don't you boys know any nice songs?

Joe:
Well the years was rollin' by
Heavy Metal and Glitter Rock
Had caught the public eye
Snotty boys with lipstick on
Was really flyin' high
And then they got that Disco thing
And New Wave came along
And all of a sudden I thought the time
Had come for that old song
We used to play in 'Joe's Garage'
And if I am not wrong
You will soon be dancin' to...

Central scrutinizer:
The White Zone is for loading and unloading only
If you gotta load or unload, go to the White Zone. You'll love it...

Joe:
Well the years was rollin' by (etc.)...

Mrs. Borg:
I'm calling the police!
There! I did it! They'll be here... shortly!

Officer Butzis:
This is the police

Mrs. Borg:
I'm not joking around anymore

Officer Butzis:
We have the garage surrounded
If you give yourself up
We will not harm you
Or hurt you neither

Mrs. Borg:
You'll see them

Officer Butzis:
This is the police

Mrs. Borg:
There they are, they're coming!

Officer Butzis:
Give yourself up
We will not harm you

Mrs. Borg:
Listen to that mess, would you?

Officer Butzis:
This is the police
Give yourself up
We have the garage surrounded

Mrs. Borg:
Everday this goes on around here!

Officer Butzis:
We will not harm you, or maim you
(Swat team four, move in!)

Mrs. Borg:
He used to cut my grass...
He was a very nice boy...

Central scrutinizer:
This is the Central scrutinizer
That was Joe's first confrontation with the law
Naturally, we were easy on him
One of our friendly counselors gave him
A do-nut... and told him to
Stick closer to church-oriented social activities