This old secret state, puzzled by definition, visits me seldomly, mostly present in my youth. Serenity and Over- whelming wonder. I wonder, will it visit me again when I reproduce? Or if I just wake up at four a.m., head towards the shore with my blanket in my hand again? To wake up with the tide and sun as he stimulates my skin, as the flowers stretch to greet the day. The shore a steady beat while every micro-life is soloing. It's almost tick- ling my stomach. oh...