Lyrics:

I judge by what she's wearing

Just how many heads I'm tearing

Off of assholes coming onto her

Each night seems like it's getting worse

And I wish she'd take the night off

So I don't have to fight off

Every asshole coming onto her

It happens every night she works



They'll go and ask the DJ

To find out just what would she say

If they all tried coming on to her

Don't they know it's never going to work?

They think they'll get inside her

With every drink they buy her

As they all try coming on to her

This time somebody's gettin' hurt



Here comes the next contestant

Is that your hand on my girlfriend?

Is that your hand?

I wish you'd do it again (I'll watch you leave here limping)

And I wish you'd do it all again (I'll watch you leave here limping)

There goes the next contestant



And I even feel the ladies

They're cool but twice as crazy

Just as bad for coming onto her

Don't they know it's never going to work

And each time she bats an eyelash

Somebody's grabbing her ass

Everyone keeps coming onto her

This time somebody's gettin' hurt



Here comes the next contestant

Is that your hand on my girlfriend?

Is that your hand?

I wish you'd do it again (I'll watch you leave here limping)

And I wish you'd do it all again (I'll watch you leave here limping)

There goes the next contestant



I'm hating what she's wearing

Everybody here keeps staring

I can't wait til they get what they deserve

This time somebody's gettin' hurt



Here comes the next contestant

Is that your hand on my girlfriend?

Is that your hand?

I wish you'd do it again (I'll watch you leave here limping)

And I wish you'd do it again (I'll watch you leave here limping)

And I wish you'd do it again (each night seems like it's getting worse)

And I wish you'd do it again (this time somebody's gettin' hurt)

There goes the next contestant