Lyrics:

Well, here we are and here we go
Up the hill and down the slope
Pardon me if I seem out of breath
Bus was late, so I walked here instead
There's nobody quite like me
Isn't that presumably?
What it is they said you're looking for?
Ballad singer, male with a guitar
Okay so guitar was the part I got wrong
The rest of me surely, is surely what you want
Wait a minute, who is this?
He needs a psychiatrist?
Either that or I do give me strength?
Would do if I knew the way it went?
You say you sing slow songs and fast numbers too
Do you know Volare?
Is that her next to you?
I'm running 'round in circles
I'm getting so forlorn
Whatever so forlorn's supposed to mean
I'm sick of good intentions
Whatever their intent on being
Whose responsibility lies in sending him to me?
Tell me and I'll tear them limb from limb
I said Matt Monroe, not Gunga Din
Our members will see him and eat him alive
No two ways about it
Or three or four or five
One day you'll see I'll be enormous
Then here's a tip, lay off your foo
They'll say of me and my performance
It was superb (don't make me laugh)
The best we've heard (he must be daft)
False modesty is not for me

The way to skin a rabbit, the way to comb a hare
I know which one of those I'd rather heed
As I'm sure would the rabbit
Who only wants to live and breed
I write each and all my songs
Always have done all along
So if you want, my way, I can do
Every song in my way just for you
Has it occurred to you that I might not be well?
I've got a heart that needs a bypass, I can tell
So here we are together then
You and me the best of friends
Best of friends? You must be off your head
How about employer, then, instead?
We have to work closely and mostly we do
We're opposite ends of
An industry without any smoke
It's boiler being only fired by hope
It is showbiz!