Lyrics:

Well,l I'm A Sucker For Fine Cuban Cigars
the Problem Is I Can't Afford 'em
but Last Year I Went And Got Myself A Whole Box
and Just To Be Safe I Insured 'em.

chorus
i Took Out A Policy Against Fire And Theft
and Then I Hurried Home
with A Fifty-Cent Lighter I Sat On My Back Steps
and I Smoked 'em One By One.

two Weeks Later I Went To See That Insurance Man
and I Handed In My Claim
with A Straight Face I Told Him That Through A Series Of Small Fires
they'd All Gone Up In Flames.

chorus
they Reviewed My Case And They Had No Choice
but To Pay Me For What I'd Done
and I Took That Check And Bought A Whole New Box
and I Smoked 'em One By One.

--- Instrumental ---

two Weeks Later This Detective Shows Up
tells Me That Company's Pressin' Charges
one Speedy Trial Later, They Locked Me Up
on Twenty-Four Separate Counts Of Arson.

chorus
and Now I Sit And I Stare At A Blank Brick Wall
lookin' Back On What I've Done
to Pass The Time I've Got Some Ten-Cent Cigars
and I Smoke 'em One By One.
yeah, I Smoke 'em One By One...