Lyrics:

Well, I knew I had to have her, so I sent off in the mail
I saw her picture in that magazine
And when the postman brought her, I thrilled as I blew up
The prettiest plastic girl you'd ever seen

I called the new girl Wendy, and Wendy blew my mind
Figured that I'd keep her around
Her plug kept her inflated, and when I had it in
But when I pulled it out, she'd go down

She's a life-sized, wife-sized, full-grown, blow-up plastic girl
Nothin's missin'
Yeah, she never had a headache, she ain't got bad breath
When we're kissin'
Yeah, she's there when you need her, she's more than just a friend
And her skin is as smooth as a pearl
She's a life-sized, wife-sized, full-grown, blow-up plastic girl

Well, I didn't tell nobody, except my best friend Earl
You can't trust just anyone, you see
When I'd come home late at night, all tired from makin' pizzas
Wendy, she'd be waitin' there for me

One night I came home anxious, with Wendy on my mind
And it broke my heart in two when I walked in
And I found the one I'd always thought would always be just mine
Laying there with Earl, my best friend

She's a life-sized, wife-sized, full-grown, blow-up plastic girl
Nothin's missin'
Yeah, she never had a headache, she ain't got bad breath
When we're kissin'
Yeah, she's there when you need her, she's more than just a friend
And her skin is as smooth as a pearl
She's a life-sized, wife-sized, full-grown, blow-up plastic girl

I never dreamed that Wendy, would be the cheatin' kind
I never figured Earl would let me down
But you don't know what can happen in these modern mixed up times
'Cause there's a lot of wierdos runnin' around