Lyrics:

[ARTHUR, spoken]
This is a total bloody disaster. All my knights have fled, and we're lost in a dark and very expensive forest

[PATSY, spoken]
Well, it could be worse!

[ARTHUR, spoken]
Oh, how could it possibly be worse?

[PATSY, spoken]
Oh, cheer up, sire! You know what they say

[ARTHUR, spoken]
What do they say, Patsy?

Some things in life are bad
They can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse
When you're chewing on life's gristle
Don't grumble - give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best
And -

Always look on the bright side of life
Always look on the right side of life

(spoken)
You give it a try!

(sung)
If life seems jolly rotten
There's something you've forgotten
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing
When you're feeling in the dumps
Don't be silly, chumps
Just purse your lips and whistle
That's the thing
And -

[COMPANY]
Always look on the bright side of life
Always look on the right side of life

[PATSY]
For life is quite absurd
And death's the final word
You must always face the curtain with a bow
Forget about your sin
Give the audience a grin
Enjoy it - it's your last chance, anyhow
So -

[ARTHUR]
Always look on the bright side of death
Just before you draw your terminal breath
Life's a piece of shit
When you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true

[PATSY]
You'll see it's all a show
Keep 'em laughing as you go

[ARTHUR]
Just remember that the last laugh is on you

[COMPANY]
Always look on the bright side of life
Always look on the right side of life

(dance sequence)

Always look on the bright side of life!
Always look on the bright side of life!
Always look on the bright side of life!
Always look on the bright side of life!

[PATSY, ARTHUR]
For life is quite absurd
And death's the final word
You must always face the curtain with a bow

[ARTHUR, spoken]
Excuse me - is that a shrubbery?

[WOMAN]
Oh, yes, I'm throwing it out. The cat won't leave it alone

[ARTHUR, spoken]
What a stroke of luck! I'll take it off your hands. Pay the lady, Patsy!

[PATSY, ARTHUR]
Always look on the bright side of life!
Always look on the bright side of life!
Side of life!
Side of life!