Lyrics:

Do you ever feel alone, old pal?
Are you ragged, running low on morale?
Have I got something grand that I've planned for you

Baby, do you burn for glowing power after dark?
In the shadow of some hour you feel the spark?
Have I got something swell that I'll tell to you

You're not alone

[Spoken: Ed Helms]
For so many years man has suffered the plague of isolation
Isolation from his fellow man, fellow woman, unable to connect
Unable to reach out and touch someone
To be tethered, to be one with the world
But now man and woman can be attuned to every arcane detail
Every dog's bark, every boy's back, every girl's tiara
With a new invention, a staggering development in technology

Sleek White Baby
Keep it by your bedside, maybe
And then how all of your friends
All of our friends
Are here now
Such cheer now

[Spoken: Ed Helms]
Nine out of ten businessmen agree
The sleek white baby should be your constant companion Whether you’re dining, traveling, moping, convalescing, or eating a sandwich.
Don’t be the one left out

If you fail to buy our prized new machine
(Why would you do that?)
You will find yourself stung by the sting
(It's painful, really it is)
Of gloom and misery, how you will die alone
(That doesn't sound pleasant, does it?)
Alone, alone, alone, alone
Woooh

Sleek White Baby