Lyrics:

On my way home
police car pulled me over

After they left, I puttered out of gas
triple-a came, but my card was expired!
I had to walk home, and of course
it rained half the time (half the time)
I tried to get some shut-eye
then I was abducted
they put cold things in my butt
they sampled a bit of my D.N.A.
they left me on top of my sheets
I dreamt I went potty
then woke up drenched in me

This day sucked the hardest ever
I woke up on the wrong side of my bed today
a little bit less than nothing would go my way

I woke up to toss my soiled sheets
the hallway was dark and I stubbed my big toe
it was then that I sensed the irony (burning me)
then I heard the voice say
"come sail aboard S.S. Nepenthe!"

I suppose I'm to blame
I woke up on the wrong side of my bed today
a little bit less than nothing would go my way

Thank goodness
for bathtubs and suds(?)

I suppose I'm to blame for getting pulled over
I guess I'm the culprit for running out of gas
let's assume I'm the guy
who didn't pay his 'Triple-A' fee
in actuality, I let the zetas probe me
yesterday was all my fault
I let negativity get the better of me
thank goodness for the bathtubs and suds
they temporarily set free this quandary

I woke up on the wrong side of my bed today
a little bit less than nothing would go my way
I woke up on the wrong side of my bed today
a little bit less than nothing would go my way