Lyrics:

She got a Valentine from Gary
I opened it up it said 'Would you please be mine.'
I sent her flowers and some candy
She opened them up and said 'You're trying to make me fat'

(Now)
I just want a new girlfriend
(Yeah)
I just want someone to make me laugh
I just want a new girlfriend
(Yeah)
I just want someone to laugh at me

Not too smart
Not too tall
Likes to watch TV and play basketball

I bought a car and let her drive it
She opened the door and said 'Oh bother, this is red.'
I gave her all my notes from algebra
Yeah, she opened ‘em up and said, 'I can't believe you're so stupid.'

(Now)
I just want a new girlfriend
(Yeah)
I just want someone to make me laugh
I just want a new girlfriend
(Yeah)
I just want someone to laugh at me

Not too smart
Not too tall
Likes to watch TV and play basketball
Play basketball
Play basketball
Play basketball

(BREAK)

(Now)
I just want a new girlfriend
(Yeah)
I just want someone to make me laugh
I just want a new girlfriend
(Yeah)
I just want someone to laugh at me

I just want her to look me (yep)
I just want her to talk to me (yeah)
I won't ever make her wash my car (no!)
I won't ever take a walk, not unless she's there