Lyrics:

My chest feels like it's full of broken glass
Each breath tracks fire from my lungs
The shadows twist, mocking me
I hear voices in the walls judging my every thought
My hands tremble, reaching for nothing
And then I remember
My dildo is missing its suction cup
And somehow that feels like betrayal
The rain outside beats against the window
Like fists trying to punish me
My tears mix with the cold air burning
Every memory is a knife and yet the real tragedy

Is that plastic toy lying silent
Betraying me in its inanimate perf?ction
My stomach twists like a storm at sea
Heart hamm?ring in rhythms I can't name

I imagine its absence across the tiles
The echo of its potential humiliates me
Just like Kesha said
I'm the cathedral finally coming home
Life was so lethal, but I'm the queefer, I'm the altar, I'm the holy ghost
While also absurdly aroused by this loss

The night texture's heavy as ink, my hands search desperate
Every corner of my room is a tomb of disappointment
And the thought hits me like lightning
Swirling in the bathtub last night
A memory that makes me shiver
And I laugh quietly, because what else can I do
I lie on the floor wrapped in shadows
The buzzing absence of that toy

Is louder than the storm outside
My body aches with emptiness
My mind fills with ridiculous longing
And I whisper to the dark
Why did you leave me
I wait for time traveling at its absurd
The world outside moves on indifferent

But I am alive, ridiculous and raw
And when I find it again, I feel like I survived a war
A small, absurd, shameful victory
A small, absurd, shameful victory
A small, absurd, shameful victory

I survived