Lyrics:

E-e-e-very time I look at my dick
Dick, dick, dick

Call me on the dog and bone
All you Yanks, that’s a telephone
Here have a look, just have a butcher’s
Northern Monkey, cock-munchers
My dick’s bigger than your brother
Pushing twenty-five stone like your mother
My dick’s bigger than Wales
And your dick’s smaller than a motherfuckin' snail

Ma bite, mec
Ça monte jusqu'à la tour
Ta bite, mec
Ça voit même pas le jour
My dick like the Mississippi river
My dick ask your bitch, 'What's for dinner?'

Every time I look at my dick, I'm like, 'Holy shit, that's a big dick'
And every time I look at your dick, I'm like, 'Holy shit, that's a small dick'
(But goddamn)
Every time I look at my dick, I'm like, 'Holy shit, that's a big dick'
And every time I look at your dick, I'm like, 'Holy shit, that's a small dick'

Yeah dawg, it's motherfuckin' Kid Quizine
My dick gets bigger than Mr. Clean
So fresh you could swish it like Listerine
Your dick look like Adam Levine
My dick like Pinocchio nose
I lie and I just watch it grow
I hang low like trunk of Dumbo
While your dick gets small like Frodo

Okay now
Woo!
Young Bob Barker in this motherfucker
Price looking right in this motherfucker
Big Dick Clark in this motherfucker
Dick look like a fuckin' Nutter Butter

Got more wood than Barry Bonds
Dick so big, got a car alarm
Dick so big that it bought the farm
Your dick's like Seth Rogen's arm

Coming through with a big wang
Doing things bigger than the big bang
Your dick don't got no name
Your bitch call my dick Ving Rhames
V-V-V-Ving Rhames, Rhames, Rhames

Every time I look at my dick, I'm like, 'Holy shit, that's a big dick'
And every time I look at your dick, I'm like, 'Holy shit, that's a small dick'
(But goddamn)
Every time I look at my dick, I'm like, 'Holy shit, that's a big dick'
(But goddamn)
And every time I look at your dick, I'm like, 'Holy shit, that's a small dick'
(But goddamn)

Your dick’s growing mold
My dick shines like gold
Your dick’s like the Pope
My dick don’t get old
Every morning I wake up and cry
It’s too much dick for one guy
What if I donated my shit to science?
Motherfucker, start a riot

Every time I look at my dick, I'm like, 'Holy shit, that's a big dick'
(But goddamn)
And every time I look at your dick, I'm like, 'Holy shit, that's a small dick'
(But goddamn)
Every time I look at my dick, I'm like, 'Holy shit, that's a big dick'
(But goddamn)
Every time I look at your dick, I'm like, 'Holy shit, that's a small dick'
(That's a small dick)