Lyrics:

Hey mister, where you headed?
Are you in a hurry?
I need a lift to happy hour
I say oh no
Do you brake for distilled spirits?
I need a break as well
The well that inebriates the guilt.
1, 2
1, 2, 3, 4

Cold turkeys getting stale, tonight I'm eating crow
Fermented salmonella poison oak no.

There's a drought at the fountain of youth, and I'm dehydrating
My tongue is swelling up, I say
1, 2
1, 2, 3, 4

Troubled times, you know I can not lie
I'm off the wagon and I'm hitchin' a ride

There's a drought at the fountain of youth, and I'm dehydrating
My tongue is swelling up,
I say SHOOT!

(guitar solo)

Troubled times, you know I can not lie
I'm off the wagon and I'm hitchin' a ride

(No, no way!) Hitchin' a ride
(No, no way!) Hitchin' a ride
(No, no way!) Hitchin' a ride
(No, no way!) Hitchin' a ride
(No, no way!) Hitchin' a ride
(No, no way!) Hitchin' a ride
(No, no way!) Hitchin' a ride
Take one for the road trip!