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Lyrics:
Mrs. Lovett:
Seems a downright shame
Sweeney Todd (spoken):
Shame?
Mrs. Lovett:
Seems an awful waste
Such a nice plump frame
What's his name has& had& has
Nor he can't be traced
Business needs a lift
Debts to be erased
Think of it as thrift
As a gift
If you get my drift
Seems an awful waste
I mean, with the price of meat
What it is
When you get it
If you get it
Sweeney Todd (spoken):
Ah!
Mrs. Lovett:
Good, you got it
Take, for instance, Mrs. Mooney and her pie shop
Business never better, using only pussycats and toast
Now, a pussy's good for maybe six or seven at the most
And I'm sure they can't compare as far as taste
Sweeney Todd:
Mrs. Lovett
What a charming notion
Sweeney Todd:
Eminently practical
And yet appropriate as always
Mrs. Lovett (with Sweeney):
Well, it does seem a waste
Sweeney Todd:
Mrs. Lovett
How I've lived without you all these years
I'll never know
How delectable
Also undetectable
How choice
How rare
Mrs. Lovett (with Sweeney):
Think about it
Lots of other gentlemen'll soon be comin' for a shave
Won't they?
Think of
All them
Pies
Sweeney Todd:
For what's the sound of the world out there
Mrs. Lovett:
What, Mr. Todd
What, Mr. Todd
What is that sound
Sweeney Todd:
Those crunching noises pervading the air
Mrs. Lovett:
Yes, Mr. Todd!
Yes, Mr. Todd!
Yes, all around
Sweeney Todd:
It's man devouring man, my dear
Sweeney Todd and Mrs. Lovett:
Then who are we to deny it in here?
Sweeney Todd (spoken):
What is that?
Mrs. Lovett:
It's priest
Have a little priest
Sweeney Todd:
Is it really good?
Mrs. Lovett:
Sir, it's too good, at least!
Then again, they don't commit sins of the flesh
So it's pretty fresh
Sweeney Todd:
Awful lot of fat
Mrs. Lovett:
Only where it sat
Sweeney Todd:
Haven't you got poet, or something like that?
Mrs. Lovett:
No, y'see, the trouble with poet is
'Ow do you know it's deceased?
Try the priest!
Mrs. Lovett (spoken):
Lawyer's rather nice
Sweeney Todd:
If it's for a price
Mrs. Lovett:
Order something else, though, to follow
Since no one should swallow it twice!
Sweeney Todd:
Anything that's lean?
Mrs. Lovett:
Well, then, if you're British and loyal
You might enjoy Royal Marine
Anyway, it's clean
Though of course, it tastes of wherever it's been!
Sweeney Todd:
Is that squire
On the fire?
Mrs. Lovett:
Mercy no, sir, look closer
You'll notice it's grocer!
Sweeney Todd:
Looks thicker
More like vicar!
Mrs. Lovett:
No, it has to be grocer
It's green!
Sweeney Todd:
The history of the world, my love
Mrs. Lovett:
Save a lot of graves
Do a lot of relatives favors!
Sweeney Todd:
Is those below serving those up above!
Mrs. Lovett:
Ev'rybody shaves
So there should be plenty of flavors!
Sweeney Todd:
How gratifying for once to know
Sweeney Todd Mrs. Lovett:
That those above will serve those down below!
Sweeney Todd:
What is that?
Mrs. Lovett:
It's fop
Finest in the shop
Or we have some shepherd's pie peppered
With actual shepherd on top!
And I've just begun
Here's the politician, so oily
It's served with a doily
Have one!
Sweeney Todd:
Put it on a bun.
Well, you never know if it's going to run!
Mrs. Lovett:
Try the friar.
Fried, it's drier!
Sweeney Todd:
No, the clergy is really
Too coarse and too mealy!
Mrs. Lovett:
Then actor
It's compacter!
Sweeney Todd:
Ah, but always arrives overdone!
Sweeney Todd (spoken):
I'll come again when you have judge on the menu
Sweeney Todd:
Have charity towards the world, my pet!
Mrs. Lovett:
Yes, yes, I know, my love!
Sweeney Todd:
We'll take the customers that we can get!
Mrs. Lovett:
High-born and low, my love!
Sweeney Todd:
We'll not discriminate great from small!
No, we'll serve anyone
Sweeney Todd:
Meaning anyone!
Mrs. Lovett (with Sweeney):
We'll serve anyone
Sweeney Todd Mrs. Lovett:
And to anyone!
At all!
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