Lyrics:

[Intro]
Yep, ayy
Yep, ayy
Man, you know who it is

[Verse 1]
Friday fucking night, we 'bout to do this right
Dicky rollin to the club, he about to find his wife
'Cause he fresher than a kid that called his mom a fuckin' hoe
Bunch a bitches getting low, pimpin'? You already know
I'm 'bout to get up on the flow and then bring the chicken to my crib
Getting drunk up in this muthafucka, fuck you think this is?
Then I see a bad bitch with a booty and a half
I make a move on that cutie, 'Excuse me, do you wanna dance?'
Then she looked at me and laughed like I didn't have a chance
Like I shouldn't even ask, so I proceeded to get trashed
Then I'm at the bar now and it's so loud, but I'm takin' shots and I'm throwin down
And I see a pretty lady, so I send her some of that cold brown
And she turned around, and then turned it down
Because in her words, she 'Don't like to flirt with clowns'
And I'm alone and pouting, overcrowded, I need to get up out this club

[Chorus]
I been inside this club for way too long
I wanna leave and eat calzones
None of these females wanna bone
My self esteem is all but gone

[Verse 2]
'Bout to quit, but I'm bitter I paid that cover
So I guess I gotta stay in this stupid club a bit longer
And I'm sweating like a jew in a multicultural sauna
They been playing fuckin' dubstep for ten consecutive songs
And then I bumped into a guy, he was roughly six-foot-five
Pretty sure it was his fault, but I apologized
Pretty sure you know the type, probly bankin' every night
Vodka sprite, lookin' round to find a kike that he can fight
Or suckerpunch, I'm kinda drunk, and I been up in the club for way too long
Now I'm up in the corner, all alone, ESPN up on my phone
My self esteem is so depleted, such a mess, I'm overheated
I regretfully just tweeted some depressing shit, I need to leave this club

[Chorus]
I been inside this club for way too long
I wanna leave and eat calzones
None of these females wanna bone
My self esteem is all but gone

[Verse 3]
Is this really for the bathroom, are you kidding?
This the type of line where people squeeze they dick to prevent pissing
When I get inside the stall it's like a yeti had been shitting
Man, there's piss all on the ground, so as I'm wizzing I keep slipping
Fuck this hand stamp, club is really damn cramped
Fuck it, I'ma suck it up and take another damn chance
Ughh, here goes nothing (c'mon D)
'Ayy girlie, what's the word? At first glance I may look like a nerd
But if you let me, bet D, get thee all up in the bed so wet like a mafuckin' jet ski
Real rap if you tryna go, then put your name right here up inside my phone
She took bait, no way, typing out her home, she pressed save
Walked away, and her name was no?

[Post-Verse]
No? She wrote no and no number. She just wrote the word no. Ooh, I get it. She's a bitch

[Chorus]
I been inside this club for way too long
I wanna leave and eat calzones
None of these females wanna bone
My self esteem is all but gone

[Outro]
Fuck this club, man. I knew I shouldn't have worn this shirt. Or at least I should've buttoned the top two buttons. My chest hair poking out, looking like taco meat. So Hard.