Lyrics:

I was 15 going on 20 when I met up with the soul man
he was quite a lover of the cards and of the dice
and he had whores and he had ladies he made love and he made babies
he could tell some damn good stories and give some good advise

Chorus
You gotta learn how ta pick em son
learn how ta lick em son
learn how to stick em son between the thighs
and you got to try not to beat em too much
try not to teach em too much
try not to feed em to much bull shit and lies

He sat down and poured some whiskey
and he mixed it up with water
heres a picture of my daughter he would say and he would sigh
and he would drink and laugh a little as he picked up that old fiddle
that same ol riddle I never did know why

Chorus

Now the years I've seen him buried
his daughter and me married
I was sure he raised her right and taught her how ta fuck
when I asked her what he told her
she'd said he'd never scold her
he would always hold her
but he never told her much
well he told her men were plain and simple
told her love was like a pimple
once you squeeze the juices out it just goes away
he taught her how ta hold on tighter
and her taught her not to let men fight her
and then there was this poem he taught her on his dyin days

You got to learn how ta suck em daughter
learn how ta fuck em daughter
learn how ta take their money and learn how ta cry
you got to try not to hold em too much
try not to scold em too much
try not to feed em too much bull shit and lies

Chorus