Lyrics:

I'm dating an actress
And I'm just writing to let you know
Why I'm so far from home
I followed her to Stella Adler
A method man was what she was after
She must have seen them on TV

She's my actress model dancer whatever
I've been watching you
I've been wanting you
Actress model dancer whatever
You're so over there
You're so everywhere

I met her over a cigarette
And though I don't really know her yet
I could see she sees something in me
A thousand bucks won't pay the rent
And I don't know where the money's spent
But it shows Lord cause nothing's free

She's my actress model dancer whatever
I've been watching you
I've been wanting you
Actress model dancer whatever
You're so over there
You're so everywhere

She made a promise
she'd never act with me now
But I saw her move her lips
They were reading scripts
She made a promise
she'd never act with me now
And I saw her move her lips
Line please line please

Dear Mom
I'm dating an actress
And I'm just writing to let you know who who
Actress model dancer whatever
I've been watching you
I've been wanting you
Actress model dancer whatever
You're so over there
You're so everywhere
Dear Mom
I'm dating an actress
Dear Mom
I'm dating an actress
Now I'm an actor too
Unwritten Law Actress, Model...