Lyrics:

'Excuse me, I'm trying to earn a mere buck or two'
A solemn rapper come in, 'And who the fuck are you?
Around this part of town with diamonds and your girl in fur'
'I'm trying to enter in this rap contest you're having, sir'
'You're kinda late' ('Flat tire') 'Well, that do occur...
Well, alright, pay me now, and you'll be after her'
'I hope I don't mess up, or run out of breath, or even-' 'Rick! Don't worry, hun, you're hitting 'em harder than a fucking brick'
'But what do you think Van?' 'Please, no one can serve us'
'Wish me luck, dear, I'm scared and I'm nervous'

So who stands, who falls, who crowds the halls?
This one the DJ calls, “Lick the Balls!”

Now every time I write dope raps, they come kicking it
Now you know the title of this, so start licking it
Lips kicking it – hey bitch, there is a brick in it
So when you think you're prepared, I keep sticking it
Now here they come, with a spike to fight, take it light
Now who the one you're trying to be like with all your might?
And anyone that attempted to remove me out the race
Best give me space before I fly in their fucking face
Now raise that vocal, play that role around your local hoods
Don't worry about a thing 'cause Ricky Rick is bringing home the goods

So who stands, who falls, who crowds the halls?
This one the DJ calls, “Lick the Balls!”

Now everything that come out your mouth, sound like it's out of spite
I'm back on a mission, and this time I'm gonna anchor right
Vance Wright adds help, he's improving it
'Thank gosh, Rick! We love the way you're moving it'
Who's hitting rough in '88? I bet your momma knows
Backslap you all down like y'all were dominoes
Stun 'em all – come on, y'all, give me a taste of life
Act trife, I'll let my dog go fuck ya wife
So be my friend and don't pretend you will not be forgiven
You're cleaning house up to the master, that's how we both are living

So who stands, who falls, who crowds the halls?
This one the DJ calls, “Lick the Balls!”

'Go Vance Wright!' 'Go Rick!' Look at the style we bring
How come you cannot write a rap that will erase the king?
The girls you worship are some tramps, and want to see me slam
Shit on motherfuckers, and I tell them who the fuck I am
My name is Rick, but now you know who's ruling it
Pump the world and the DJ put the fuel in it
Come ride the dick and if you wanna know what is the word
Who write the baddest raps you and your boys have ever heard?
I eat you up and give your girl a bowl of Puppy Chow
You understand, alright? Hello! I'm trying to tell you now

So who stands, who falls, who crowds the halls?
This one the DJ calls, “Lick the Balls!”