Lyrics:

Words & Music by Ed Robertson

A friend brought me flowers, she said they were lilacs
But I've never been good with plants
Her next presentation, a new dictionary
She'd circled the word "romance"
So enthusiastic, a little bit drastic
I shaved her name in my head
And as she beheld it, she said I misspelled it;
Need more be said!

Chorus:
These apples are delicious!
"As a matter of fact they are," she said
Can all this fruit be free?

She wrote me a letter as big as a phonebook
I've never been big on mail
I sent her a postcard from somewhere near Lethebridge
And wondered if it still went by rail
I've never been frightened of being enlightened
But some things can go too far
Though sometimes I stammer and mix up my grammar,
You get what my meanings are

Chorus

I'm not trying to sing a love song -- I'm trying to sing in tune.
I know I am sometimes headstrong
Falling in love, catching fire -- I want to be consumed
Wondering will I ever tire, will I ever tire!