Lyrics:

Last night Ellen bid and made a three no-trump
And took a hundred dollars from her friends
She got a little nest egg when her daddy died
And now they're living on the dividends
Ellen is the chairman of the Children's Fund
She's the biggest donor, don't you know
And I recall the day the drinks were on the house
When Ellen finally beat the tennis pro

But it's a shame about him
It's a shame about him
When he's trying so hard
And he still just can't win
It's a shame about him
Unh unh unh
It's a shame about him

It was back in Eisenhower's second term
Before they put old Elvis in a tank
That Ellen married Bill and Sarah's oldest boy
The wedding was good news down at the bank
Bill Jr. wasn't half the man his father was
And he just let the business go to hell
And if Ellen hadn't waded in and taken charge
The family woulda prob'ly had to sell

But it's a shame about him
It's a shame about him
When he's trying so hard
And he still just can't win
It's a shame about him
Unh unh unh
It's a shame about him

Well I just saw Bill Jr. in the bank today
And he's put on an awful lot of weight
He was off to see his lawyer so he couldn't talk
Already he was half an hour late
But Marjorie the teller says the rumor is
Ellen told Bill Jr. that they're through
Now watch and see, without that man to hold her down
There is just no telling what she'll do

But it's a shame about him
It's a shame about him
When he's trying so hard
And he still just can't win
It's a shame about him
Unh unh unh
It's a shame about him