Lyrics:

If you don't golf that's okay

You can be a tiger anyway

Lie through your teeth when things get tough

Or your balls are gonna wind up in the rough, yeah yeah



If you wanna be like Tiger Woods

Fertalizin' ladies in the neighbourhood

Get real rich and you will find

All the hot chicks will want you blind



If you wanna be like Tiger Woods

Grip that shaft like you know you should

In the back of a car, it will be all good

The girls will want you just like Tiger Woods



Remember this when you're having fun

Three holes are better than a hole in one, yeah

If the word gets out don't be afraid

When a 9 iron's headin' for your Escalade, yeah yeah



If you wanna be like Tiger Woods

Filling all the divots in the neighbourhood

Don't think about those three foot putts

You cover your tracks when you're banging them sluts



If you wanna be like Tiger Woods

Text messages are never good

Nail a girl at the driving range

Your life will change, just like Tiger Woods



Have your best friend book all your flights

Tell your wife that you're golfing nights

Get a call girl and maybe just chill

Be winning to part with a hundred mil



Bang a new pornstar everyday

Tell your sponsors it will be okay

Surprise them all with an invitation

To a viewing of your first double penetration, yeah



If you wanna be like Tiger Woods

Poking all the holes in the neighbourhood

Tell your wife how it's gonna be

Your driver is community property



If you wanna be like Tiger Woods

...

Become the king of your neighbourhood

Like Steel Panther and Tiger Woods



Just like Tiger Woods, oh yeah yeah